BraveHeart with Remi Pearson (Formerly Perspectives Podcast)

One Shift to Achieve the Goals that Matter | #PERSPECTIVES with Sharon Pearson

Episode Summary

If you have been wondering how you can start achieving the goals that matter, this episode of #Perspectives is for you. We have done something a little different for this episode, taking you straight into a training room with Sharon Pearson and a group of wonderful life coaches to explore why and how we set aspirational goals and the one shift it really takes to achieve them. Get your FREE getting started as a successful life coach gift pack here: https://tci.rocks/gift-pack-2020 Key Topics and Time Stamps: - 0.00 Why I don’t coach people on what they want first but secondary o Understanding that the goal we set and what we say we aspire to achieve isn’t our truth. o We set aspirational goals as a way to mask our current state. o We think we’re going to go for it consciously but unconsciously we have no intention of doing it. It’s a way of displacing our pain and shame of not living up to who we thought we’d be. - 5.00 What I coach on now o I don’t coach on the goal someone wants to achieve; I coach on the truth of how they are hiding, who they’re not being, what they are missing about themselves. o I hope to recover who they’re meant to be and how they can grow and as they change their perception of themselves, they change their goal because their goal was a way of putting outside of ourselves if I get that then I’m okay. o What if we reverse it and coach people on how to be okay rather than how to achieve a goal to feel okay. - 6.20 Reaching Goals isn’t about working harder it’s about changing your strategy o Start getting your mind working for you then ask yourself well now I know who I am and I love who I am what is it I’m really looking to create. - 7.30 Ambition with meaning is misery o That’s why people keep pursuing the goal wondering if they’ll ever catch happiness and they never do because their strategy is wrong from the beginning. - 7.58 Over Ambition and Under Ambition o Under Ambition is a sense of give-up-ness o When I coach someone and I see them flaking and being completely disconnected from even having a go, I’m seeing what I call give-up-ness o When I identify that I almost immediately know what happened in their past for them to have landed on that strategy - 8.40 Example of Under Ambition o Someone in their 40’s who’s still under ambitious, easily lacks resilience, doesn’t push through, dresses poorly, doesn’t take care of themselves, has failed repeatedly to hold a job down, it’s always the bosses fault. o I know immediately that that’s a strategy they learned and perfected in childhood. o No one comes into life wanting to mess it all up. It’s painful to constantly have defeat and setbacks and never ever have a reason to feel different and freaky, that’s a painful way to live. o So I know at some point in childhood there was a trigger. From adults, caretaker, a ‘big person’ who has responsibility for caring for them did something, behaved a certain way, rewarded it, punished a certain behaviour. And that child has associated that reward and punishment to how they should behave. ‘Don't sine too much,’ ‘you’re a bit big for your boots there,’ ‘no one likes a smart girl’. o There is two ways to respond, over ambition or under ambition o You can’t keep coaching on goals and ignoring their under ambition as they will always default back to their under ambition never achieving those goals - 12.45 I-Amness Traits o Traits we are often born with that we often grow out of by the time we reach adulthood. These include  Creativity  Resilience  Risk taking  Playfulness  Sense of humour  Lovingness  Intuition  Curiosity o Ask yourself, when was the last time you experienced these qualities o Observe if and when these qualities arise. o 15.25 Example of an observable trait that we can use to understand why someone acts the way they do…  What qualities and aspects have been denied and conditioned to cause them to act in a certain way. Resources: Ultimate You Book – - www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au/book -Ultimate You Quest Telecast - www.ultimateyouquest.com -Upcoming Events at The Coaching Institute - www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au/trainings -Sharon’s New Website - www.sharonpearson.com -Phone The Coaching Institute - 1800 094 927 -The Coaching Institute Fan Page – https://www.facebook.com/BecomeALifeCoach -Feedback/Reviews/Suggest a top to be discussed - perspectives@sharonpearson.com -Perspectives Youtube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7zP_SmBHzsZG8lmlnQBgHQ/

Episode Notes

Key Topics and Time Stamps:

0.00 Why I don’t coach people on what they want first but secondary
o Understanding that the goal we set and what we say we aspire to achieve isn’t our truth.
o We set aspirational goals as a way to mask our current state.
o We think we’re going to go for it consciously but unconsciously we have no intention of doing it. It’s a way of displacing our pain and shame of not living up to who we thought we’d be.
5.00 What I coach on now
o I don’t coach on the goal someone wants to achieve; I coach on the truth of how they are hiding, who they’re not being, what they are missing about themselves.
o I hope to recover who they’re meant to be and how they can grow and as they change their perception of themselves, they change their goal because their goal was a way of putting outside of ourselves if I get that then I’m okay.
o What if we reverse it and coach people on how to be okay rather than how to achieve a goal to feel okay.
6.20 Reaching Goals isn’t about working harder it’s about changing your strategy
o Start getting your mind working for you then ask yourself well now I know who I am and I love who I am what is it I’m really looking to create.
7.30 Ambition with meaning is misery
o That’s why people keep pursuing the goal wondering if they’ll ever catch happiness and they never do because their strategy is wrong from the beginning.
7.58 Over Ambition and Under Ambition
o Under Ambition is a sense of give-up-ness
o When I coach someone and I see them flaking and being completely disconnected from even having a go, I’m seeing what I call give-up-ness
o When I identify that I almost immediately know what happened in their past for them to have landed on that strategy
8.40 Example of Under Ambition
o Someone in their 40’s who’s still under ambitious, easily lacks resilience, doesn’t push through, dresses poorly, doesn’t take care of themselves, has failed repeatedly to hold a job down, it’s always the bosses fault.
o I know immediately that that’s a strategy they learned and perfected in childhood.
o No one comes into life wanting to mess it all up. It’s painful to constantly have defeat and setbacks and never ever have a reason to feel different and freaky, that’s a painful way to live.
o So I know at some point in childhood there was a trigger. From adults, caretaker, a ‘big person’ who has responsibility for caring for them did something, behaved a certain way, rewarded it, punished a certain behaviour. And that child has associated that reward and punishment to how they should behave. ‘Don't sine too much,’ ‘you’re a bit big for your boots there,’ ‘no one likes a smart girl’.
o There is two ways to respond, over ambition or under ambition
o You can’t keep coaching on goals and ignoring their under ambition as they will always default back to their under ambition never achieving those goals
12.45 I-Amness Traits
o Traits we are often born with that we often grow out of by the time we reach adulthood. These include
 Creativity
 Resilience
 Risk taking
 Playfulness
 Sense of humour
 Lovingness
 Intuition
 Curiosity
o Ask yourself, when was the last time you experienced these qualities
o Observe if and when these qualities arise.
o 15.25 Example of an observable trait that we can use to understand why someone acts the way they do…
 What qualities and aspects have been denied and conditioned to cause them to act in a certain way.

Resources:
Ultimate You Book – Pre-Order Link (released on 17th Sept in US) - www.ultimateyouquest.com/book
-Ultimate You Quest Telecast - www.ultimateyouquest.com
-Upcoming Events at The Coaching Institute - www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au/trainings
-Sharon’s New Website - www.sharonpearson.com
-Phone The Coaching Institute - 1800 094 927
-The Coaching Institute Fan Page – https://www.facebook.com/BecomeALifeCoach
-Feedback/Reviews/Suggest a top to be discussed - perspectives@sharonpearson.com
-Perspectives Youtube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7zP_SmBHzsZG8lmlnQBgHQ/